Word(s) of encouragement(:

There comes a point where it's time to let go of your misgivings, your fear, and face your demons head on. Everybody faces a demon in them, we're all strong in our own, unique way. It's how God made us to be, and it's how we;ll grow up to be. So chin up, and take on the world, because nothing is ever too hard for Him. In Life there comes a point where people you once thought is your world, doesn't matter anymore. the may have left, they may have hurt and betrayed you, but what's the point in dwelling over that? Forget about the, and move forward, there's a reason why God has given and taken away certain people in our lives. We're not alone in our troubles; everyone is facing their own's, whether or not they expresses it outwardly. All we can do is give a helping hand, be there for them and lend them a reliable shoulder, one they know they can fall back on no matter what. This is the beauty of human beings, and this is the Beauty of Love. We may get so caught up in our troubles that we think that Life is not worth living, but it's not time to give up. It's never time to give up. There is always someone out there who is willing to listen, willing to help; we just have to open up our hearts to the person and accept their help. We have to learn to reach out, and not be so self absorbed in our own sufferings. There are four walls that guards our heart so tightly - fear, disappointment, anger and hurt. Don't let any of these keep you from accepting others' love and help; rather let love break down these walls. You'll end up helping yourself and others. When all else fails, just remember that God is always here for us, whether we want it or not. He will never forsake us, He is our anchor, He is our guide and strength, from everlasting to everlasting. He will protect us. We belong with Him, even if we do not belong in this world. Een if this world seems to have wronged us, to have tortured us, just remember that this is but a temporary shell for us, we are meant for much bigger and greater things, we are meant for a more meaningful and worthwhile Life, in God, with God, until eternity. So love, love others, love yourselves, and most importantly, love the Lord your God, who will be your shield and your rock, from everlasting to everlasting, for all eternity.
Love,
Michelle(:

Back.

Hey!

It's 12.30am right now, and I'm still awake cuz' I haven't done my homework. Or studied for the test tomorrow. Or packed my bag. And here I am blogging. Haha. 

Just some random thoughts I've had for some time/these few days:

1. My sis says I have an interesting life, I say I make my life interesting.
    Alright, why I think that is mainly because I have a lot of opinions on a lot of things, and I may be a little sensitive towards things that actually do not mean anything. But that's just me. I can find a lot of interesting aspects of certain events that I can comment on, and I will tell my sister, that's why she says I have an interesting life. Honestly though, I don't think my life is interesting. I try to make it interesting by paying attention to minor details of things, but that's just me eh? Honestly, how can my life be interesting when all I ever do is: go to school, come home, sleep, burn the midnight oil rushing out my homework, sleep, go to school, blah blah blah. As you can see, my life is actually really boring, my school life is even more boring, and that's the only form of social interaction I have anymore. If I'm (un)lucky, I might even have piano lesson at night, so that sucks even more. Idek why my sis says my life is interesting. It's as boring as hell. Though I agree that I seem to have a lot of interesting things happening to me, it's just because I pay more... attention(?) to things. Sometimes I myself think that I'm a weird person. Or, as how I would say it in real life: Imma weird kid. Haha(:

2. School is a burden, I can't even...

    I think this point is pretty self-explanatory. I mean, seriously, how can anyone, and i mean anyone, like school even? It's like, the most boring thing on earth! Well, maybe not. I'd much rather go for piano lessons than to go to school, and that's saying a lot because I hate piano lessons like asdfghjkl. My school throws homework at us, and expects us to finish them, and finish them well. It's actually thanks to school that I have no social life whatsoever. Seriously, even my mum has a more active social life than me! What even... My school sucks, big time. Sigh. I hate my combination, although I know that if I am willing to put in slightly more effort, I can actually do relatively well. It sucks that I'm a super lazy person and procrastinates like nobody's business though. [Like what I'm doing now, haha.] Sigh, I'm such a failure.

3. I'm such a failure...

    Read the point above.

4. I hate myself a lot sometimes.

    I'm sure most people would have hated themselves at one point in their lives. Be it because they let down somebody they care for, or because they disappointed themselves, or whatever, I'm sure most people would agree that they have hated themselves before. To what intensity, I don't know, but I'm quite sure we all have, at one point or another. However, I somehow hate myself more than I am at peace with myself. Seriously. Why? Schoolwork and my inability to cope with it is one, me being a failure is another, and most of all, I hate myself for being so hypocritical. I mean, I'm a Christian and all, but I don't think I behave like one. I mean, a Christian should be encouraging others, and here I am, feeling sorry for myself. If I'm not a failure, I don't know who is. I can't even be a good Christian, i'm not even asking for myself to be an exemplary Christian, how can I still go about acting all self-righteous and innocent and whatnots? Sometimes, I hate myself so much, but I know I'm not supposed to, because God loves us for who we are. Sometimes I even forget to pray! What even. I can't believe myself a lot of times, because of how hypocritical and fake I've become. I used to be a good Christian, but look how I am now. I can't even stand to look at myself sometimes, because I am not who God has designed me to be. I'm such a letdown. Sigh. All in all, I hate myself. I feel guilty, I pray, but I don't do anything about it. God blesses those who're prepared, and here I am, praying and expecting something to happen when I myself don't do anything to make it happen. No wonder it doesn't happen, whatever it is. Sigh. 

That should be about it. There are of course still many thoughts in my head, like how I hate people, but I'm pretty sure I covered the main points. And even if there're some I didn't, it should be quite obvious from my previous posts. Haha(: It's 12.51 already, and I'm still here when I have school tomorrow and test too. Sometimes I really wish my parents were the lackadaisical kind, that will allow me to skip school when I want to. Sigh. I'm sick, but not sick enough to miss school. Sigh.

Chin up, everybody!(:

xoxo

HOLIDAYS

One year has passed. I've spent almost a year here in JC. Have I learnt much? Not in my opinion, no. In fact, to be totally honest, I think I have regressed, be it in my grasp of the English language, or my History skills and knowledge. Nowadays I think I get even more confused every time my History teacher teaches us something. Sigh. Not even my social skills have been spared. I think I'm even more a recluse this year than last, and I was very anti-social last year... So yeah, my life is pretty boring since I don't have much close friends here.

On a brighter note, at least my CCA mates aren't all that bad. I've got a position in my Exco, and although I'm regretting not running for a better position that I know I would have gotten if I had run for it, at least I'm comfortable in my position. It's nothing new though, so I won't have much to learn from it.

My academics are horrible. I'm promoted, but just barely. And I can keep my 4 H2s, but again, just barely. I still can't believe I scored that badly. I really have to buck up like shit next year. But, I don't think I have enough time to. Sigh. Ahwells, what can I do but wish for the best?

Lastly, I am really really really thankful for God's providence for me. It's actually a miracle I actually managed to pass most of my subjects because I really didn't study much for them. In all honesty, I don't think I deserve to be promoted. But since God wants me to, I will not disappoint Him. 

Father, I pray for strength and perseverance to carry me through the next year. I pray Lord that I will not let You down but will bring glory to Your name, to praise You in all that I do. Father, I pray for Your strength to lead me through everything and for me to be determined in everything I do.

Rants

I AM SO PISSED.

I AM ANGRY.

I AM SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED.

Sigh, for those soccer fans out there, youll know that yesterday Liverpool played with ManU. The reason why I'm angry is because, as you should be able to guess by now, I'm a ManU fan. Like, who the hell does Moyes think he is?! After he took over from Sir Alex Ferguson the team has played so, so horribly! Seriously. 

Drawing with Chelsea, losing to Liverpool... What exactly in the world is David Moyes thinking?! How is he even managing the damn team! Wah, I'm angry. Sigh. Seeing the lousy results ManU achieved has seriously made me lose my mood to do work and study. I hate this. Sigh.

Bye. ):

In Sickness and In Health...

Hello there, earthlings!
Today I'm gonna talk about how I managed to be super duper sick and freaking healthy in the span of a day.
I was feeling slightly unwell after my econs lecture, but i thought nothing of it. After my long break, I had PE in which I played badminton and sweat a lot. *pause* now, at this point of time you should be thinking: you're already sweating, how can you be sick?! i thought that too.
I only reaaaaally became unwell after that. and i was forced to go for my PW implementation. Now, you can see how it affects me? i started feeling sick at around 2.30, but you made me stay and face KIDS till 6.30? well done, pw group, well done. so yeah. i went home earlier, right after the activity ended, but still reached home only at 8 ): rested, drank water and took my temperature then BAM! 38.9 degrees Celsius fever. Seriously, i was in so much agony by this point of time, having to stand throughout the whole journey home (thats about 1 hour, fyi)...
So, i slept a while (a sick person should always sleep first.) since i was tired having had late nights since idk-when. Woke up, measured again (38.5) drank something my dad made to help my fever (i forgot what it was), waited a while, took my temperature and BAM! 37.7 degrees only. wow, just wow. bathed, retook, same temp. a while later retook. 37.2 ): just now i took it was 36.3. look at how healthy i am now! Wonderful, just wonderful.
This is my 'in health' part. My 'in sickness': I FEEL SORE ALL OVERRRR. My body's aching like nobody's business and it hurts to stretch my back, walk around (my muscles are still weak, i burned up and cooled down so quickly, for goodness' sake!) etc. sighpie. i myself don't understand how i can be sick and healthy at the same time. Poor me.
The worst thing about it all? I have to go to school tomorrow. I mean, if I was still having fever, i could have went to see the doctor and taken an Absent leave. BUT! I'm only aching. So I have no excuse to visit the Doctor's and get an MC. Sighhhh. I lead a very sad life ): 
Thats all for today! Bye~
Ta-ta!

Laziness.

Hey guys!

As you can probably guess from the title, I'm feeling ultra lazy. I haven't even started on my holiday homework and it's already nearing the end of the second week of Holidays! Can't believe I'm so freaking lazy ): i don't feel like doing anything at all. Like, nothing. I can't get myself to do something, although i want to. And having to do house chores is not helping. Blah. I mean like, seriously?! You've spent the one week plus doing absolutely nothing?! Now, that's a feat I think few can actually achieve. Yet, i managed to do it. And mind you, it's not a good thing. Sigh. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life right now. I'm lucky I managed to do well for my O levels without much studying, but the same cannot be said about A levels. I myself know very extremely well that if i want to get an 80+ Grade Point Average, I need to, like must, study my ass off. Crude, I know, but it's the cold, hard truth. So I've got no choice but to accept it. Sometimes I really wonder how I would be like now if I had chosen the poly course... Or maybe, what would have happened if I had chosen another JC instead of the one I'm currently studying in now. Sigh, sometimes i really regret choosing this JC. It's not so much the people (though it might contribute partly) but the system (制度) that greatly distresses me. I honestly hate the school system with a burning fiery passion. And that's saying a lot, seeing as I've just gotten into the school not too long ago and I'm not one who forms impression fast. Honestly, all I can say is that the school seriously, really, suck. Like, big time. I guess that explains why I seriously cannot be bothered to do my homeworks yeah? Sigh. All I campn hope is that I can set aside time to actually do my work, and do it well. I really want to graduate in two years. Pray for strength. (:

'I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.' - Philippians 4:13, NIV

Ta for now~

I'm baaaaack~

Hey guys!

I'm back!(: nah, not really. I'm gonna delete my blog reaaaaal soon since it's dead anyways. :x just a heads up. (: i really really wanna blog, but i dont have anything to blog about, so why bother keeping this alive, right? On another note, i might restart blogging! On a new blog though, this blog name and url just doesnt cut it for me. New school, new year (not really, since its june already), so might as well new blog! Right?(:

Anyway, I'm really surprised this blog aint deleted by the whoever, since its not been in use for what, more than a year?! Ahwells, its just prolonging its death.

Signing off!

Mich(: